Watching the Vh1 show and I really can relate don’t get me wrong I’m no rich girl but I’m broke and mommy isn’t putting no money in my account anymore I have a feeling being the “baby” is going to end soon specially since I moved. Broke as a joke have places to go and I surely won’t be there this week is the worst I tell you I am falling thank God slowly I have time to pick myself up before it starts to really hurt 2012 is starting off horribly
soooo i go to beauty school “obviously”, in Ny love it but today that shit tore me down my confidence. We had state board practice and that thing had me sweating bullets the timing on that test is crazy, it had me feeling shitty but its not over by the next time i will be a sanitized fast curling waving chemical applying robot ! hmm sweat it today be a pro by tomorrow.
Okay, i’m guilty i’ve been tryna gain weight to get that video vixen body “NATURALLY”, no butt injections with cement or nasty fat… soooooo, i thought i’d gain weight and shape my body out in the right places. i gained the weight scale wise but there’s nothing there to show for it. well i did move up from a size 4 to a 6 over the coarse of 5 months, its not working. I was suggested to take protein shakes but um, i don’t wanna look like Serena…yikes! but so far i got a fatter tush, arms, thighs and face. soo ima continue tryin this thing out…
I can’t help to wonder of a life out of the united states see in my head the united states is the world which in reality it isn’t, I come from a Trinidadian background and ancestry of migrators and travelers. I have that curiosity in my blood to see and travel I moved to New York to look for more but it’s not enough New York is starting to look small to me I want to fly go to another continent again and this time not central America it’s been 2 years since I’ve been on a plane I want experience other cultures and really have an outer body experience with this world. While scientist and engineers explore beyond this world I want to spend my life exploring it and enjoying it where the plane becomes my regular transportation and the Internet is brought to dimension and my atmosphere and I’m not talking about holographics. I want my life to be like a billionaires retirement.
When my mind and heart to agree on an idea I get a funny feeling like an out of body feeling a whole nother perception on things it’s a wonderful feeling. As I lay here in the dark and start to think about me and all the emotions I have and all the questions that are unanswered I have faith that this all is for a reason I need and have to believe in it or i will fall for anything and I strongly believe my struggle and pain lonely nights will lead to success and love.